Why I will never ride the train again. (The Sequel – Part II)

I snapped this picture through the window of the train as we were going around a curve.

After our “very good night’s sleep” we left the hotel and hailed a taxi to take us to Los Angeles’ Union Station which I am certain is one of the most beautiful train stations in the country. Not that I’ve seen all that many. But it’s got to rank up there in the top ten.

We boarded Amtrak Coast Starlight Train #14, Car 2412 in great anticipation of the beautiful scenery we would surely see along the way. As hesitant as I was to continue traveling via railway, I was being a good sport. (Jack’s bribe of a kitchen remodel played only a very small part in my newly revived enthusiasm. Really.)

We were assigned seats #29 and #30 and after stowing our carry-on bags above our seats we settled in for a pleasant journey. The train glided out of Union Station. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Seated just behind us were two guys who introduced themselves to each other and then decided to go to the lounge car for a beverage. They came back a few minutes later, each carrying a beer. It was about 10:30 a.m. Not a good omen.

They settled in their seats and proceeded to get acquainted. One of them (I dubbed him Chatty Chuck) talked non-stop. I mean, NON-STOP. And he was LOUD. And he was an expert on EVERYTHING. After more then an hour of not being able to concentrate on my book we found the conductor and requested new seats at the front of the car.

Our request was granted. It was great. We could barely hear Chuck and his new friend. We traveled this way for quite some time just enjoying the scenery and visiting and feeling quite smug that this train trip would be a piece of cake. Wrong.

• Near San Luis Obisbo, California – The train came to a stop and we were told that there was a car stuck on the tracks. An hour or so later we moved forward.
• Near San Jose, California – The train came to a stop (again) because there was a car crash near the tracks and we could not proceed until the tracks were examined to be sure there was no debris on the tracks. An hour or so later yadda, yadda, yadda…
• Near Chico, California – Well, this time the train couldn’t come to a stop and actually sliced a vehicle in half! As it was explained to us, a young woman who was extremely intoxicated got her 4 x 4 stuck on the tracks. She ran down the tracks toward the approaching train to try to get it to stop. As intoxicated as she was, she did think to jump out of the way just in time to save herself but, of course, we were traveling much to fast to stop before hitting her car. Investigation ensued and shortly thereafter we were moving, again.

At this point we were running just a couple of hours late. Not so bad.

• Klamath Falls, Oregon (about 100 miles north of Klamath Falls, actually) – The train came to a stop (yet again). We were told that there was another train stopped ahead of us for some reason or other and we couldn’t proceed until it did. An hour or so later we were advised that there was an eight foot mud slide on the tracks ahead of us. WHAT????

So it was decided that we would pull forward to a spot where the engine pulling our train could be moved from the front of the train to the back of the train and it would take us back a hundred miles to Klamath Falls. There were busses at Klamath Falls which would take us to our various destinations. I cannot tell you how disturbing that news was. I cannot describe to you how much I dislike bus trips. We wracked our brains trying to decide what alternatives there might be when we got to Klamath Falls.

• In the meantime, we were chugging along for who-knows-how-long when we came to yet another stop. The railroad track was broken and we could go no further. I am not lying. That’s exactly what happened. How we got over that broken track going north, I couldn’t tell you. So we were trapped between an eight foot mudslide and a broken railroad track. Great.

A repair team was dispatched to our location. The track was repaired. By this time I have lost all track of time. It was probably three hours or so later before we were again on the move. We arrived in Klamath Falls. There weren’t enough busses. We were herded onto a bus that was just one step up from a school bus. No, maybe one step below a school bus. It was supposed to be a tour bus and let me tell you that it totally put me off the idea of a bus tour.

That was about 7 p.m. Five hours and two stops later we pulled into the Amtrak station in Portland, Oregon. There was a train waiting to take us to our final destination, Seattle, Washington. Arrived in Seattle at approximately 4:30 a.m.

We’re flying back to Los Angeles. Already have our tickets.